Your remarkable day of life starts by a vicious punch to the gut through violent dry heaving and then spreads its bountiful wretchedness by way of fierce, uncontrollable shakes. The day crawls second by second, minute by minute until you’ve prepared for that life eroding sting of your first drink. Your day of celebration is marred by self pity to which the only end is the blurred moment you start your misery party of one, all over again. Another birthday lost, another moment of gratitude poured into your drowning soul and another chapter of your addiction being heralded by your worst critics.
What would you think if I told you I didn’t care and I pissed it away with metabolized vodka?
An unmemorable ceremony that a healthy mind could never stomach. Once glowing candles that Greeks first lit to respect Artemis, the lunar goddess. Or an 18th Century German tradition burning on a decadent sweet cake is now, well, just another a Bollywood Birthday story-line of insanity in the life of a spiraling addict.
According to the The Huffington Post, the first known Birthday celebration dates back to the Bible around 3,000 BC. It wasn’t to celebrate the birth of a Pharaoh but a child’s transformation from a Pharaoh into a God. When the time came for a Pharaoh to be crowned in ancient Egypt their status provisioned them into Gods and their transformation into a new life of wisdom and courage was born.
Now, I am not my addiction and learning how to live mindfully aware. Free to observe my life because that downward spiral of addiction ceased when I stopped living heedlessly and started living consciously. My Birthdays of dreaded solitary confinement are now jailbroken into a flexible and open mind and my candles of life shall be lit by the incredible transformation of my ignited soul.
For the first time in my life, August 31st 2018, I was able to celebrate my 39th birthday as a transformation in the highest regard. I converted into the person I always wanted to be, one my father always believed in. A renovated Pharaoh of sorts in my own little Egypt.
Do you think our minds can outgrow chemical addiction? We’d love to hear your comments below…